måndag 31 augusti 2009

21还是18

来到Cornell,第一次感觉自己老了。


在Uppsala,周围的同学年龄都偏大。Eunjung,义丽娜和我那个芬兰邻居都是85的。过后想起来突然觉得有些诧异,难道这是巧合吗?瑞典年轻人上学比较晚,在大学我是做了几年的晚辈,有些不爽。


到了Cornell后,角色瞬间变换了。


在第一周的PREPARE上,大部分外国学生都是freshman,典型的90后。像我这样能在美国大学喝酒的人(21岁为界),也只有欧洲交换学生帮的那几个。21岁,过几个月22岁,是本人眼前必须面对的现实。


可是说实在的,我觉得我像18岁的人。实际年龄21,心理年龄18。在刚刚入学那年,我想象21岁的我会成为什么样的人,该干什么样的事情,等到了21岁发现好像还没上到那个台阶。大三这一年在学校干过很多以往不去想的事情,比如疯狂加入社团,组织各类活动,每周末至少两次party(或是其它主流social event)。一年下来,社会经验上去了,学习成绩下来了。我这样的资深好学生竟然第一次有了非5分的成绩。要说我的social skill的顶峰时期是哪里呢?我可能会说是在加入AIESEC之后。LC Uppsala的Lin,Fredrik,Micko和Robin对我有很大的影响。暑假几个月离开了这些人,本人的社交能力大有滑坡。此时心理年龄18岁,也可以说social prowess退到了18岁左右。


Micko曾经说过:人不能想太多。想得太多了,你就会犹豫。犹豫不决的后果就是该说的话不敢说,怕说错。该说话的时候愣神,错过了说话的机会。改作决定的时候不敢出手,以至于最终一事无成。这个道理想乐器即兴伴奏一样,最关键的是你要出手,只要你把手放在琴键上开始演奏,不管有多差都没关系。慢慢地你会掌握这一技巧而学有所成。如果担心演奏的效果不好而不敢摸琴,那你一辈子都无法练成这一绝技。我有很多时候,在等待完美的方案,完美的时机而后导致全盘皆输,这样的事已发生不止一次两次了。问题说白了,就是想得太多了。一个家庭主妇如果把二十年来每天刷的盘子堆起来那足以堆成一座小山。如果你每天去刷碗之前想一下这二十年积攒起的盘子与碗,那谁会有不崩溃的感觉呢?未来的某些视角是不能去展望的。


健谈的人一般见多识广,对时事敏感。除了经历之外你还要加上对事物的理解。几年前在承德旅游看见两个天津游客。此二公如何游览避暑山庄的呢?看见金山寺,甲道:“这不就是个破庙吗,走!”到了六和塔,乙说:“这不就是个破塔吗,走!”如此下来一圈,那这趟承德也就白来了。我认为我经历的事物其实不少,但是由于本人喜新厌旧的习惯也包括经历,自己看到过的感受过的不珍惜,很快就忘了。我儿时学的日文忘没了,高中一年的德文忘干净了。像狗熊掰棒子一样地过日子,一个人到了老还是一张白纸。另一方面,表达能力也是很重要。storytelling是一门social art,社交艺术。一个USB芯片的储存容量会大大高于电脑硬盘。以人来说,谦虚的人是memory stick,会表现自己的人是portable DVD player。如果你百无聊赖之际本人扔给你一个移动硬盘叫你消遣,你恐怕会把它当飞砖一样丢到我天灵盖上。Be a funny guy,是社会给年轻男人的另一道枷锁。但作为男人,你必须能扛。





以上是本人所记载的胡思乱想而已。以后不再写类似的东西了。

fredag 28 augusti 2009

Just a list, a.k.a. 流水账

This is just a running list I make to recount every event that took place since I came to USA. Due to the boredom of the content, viewer discretion is advised.


August

16th:
Flew from Arlanda after staying overnight at Hotel Uppsala. Took a walk in downtown Manhattan, been to Times Square, China Town and Central Park.

17th
Took a shortline bus from NYC to Ithaca. PREPARE registration with 95% Asians among all the volunteers. Von Cramm Hall, Dinner at Appel Commons and later Casino Night (just playing poker with fake money and a lottery).

18th
PREPARE events: Dean's welcome, mentor groups, a trip to Ithaca Mall and Sports Night with bowling.

19th
Session with Christine Potter, Collegetown lunch, Police Session (always lock the door, close the window, don't go to Frat parties) and Talent Show!

20th
Breakfast at Trillium, Health care session, picnic and hanging out at Bagels in Collegetown.

21th
Utterly unnecessary New student registration, Gannett Health Center for immunization requirements, booking TB-test. Ithaca Mall with Omar and Jonas. Hanging out with these guys for the rest of the day.

22th
Dump-and-Run sale, got a pair of old (decent quality) Lacoste shoes for 4 bucks, the best deal ever! Worthless trip in Ithaca downtown and BBQ night back in Von Cramm Hall.

23th
Hanging out with Michael, Kasper and Maria in Von Cramm at night, missed the best show ever (Slammin' & Soarin'). Don't remember what happened during the day.

24th
Fixed HSBC bank account, Big Red Blowout at night. Played cards with a gang of Chinese students and came back home at 2:30am.

25th
Walk to Ithaca Farmers' Market at DeWitt Park. Went to DMV to fix local ID-card, failed and hanged out with some Chinese. The first house party in USA and first time playing beer-pong.

26th
Cornell store, bowling, meeting up with Siyu and Yingchao.

27th
First day of class.

28th
Today

That's all for the past, time to shift the focus onto the presence and the future.

onsdag 26 augusti 2009

NYC and American Dream

11 days ago, I landed at Newark Airport.

I had to wait for my travel companion Maria so we could take the cab together. The waiting hall of Newark Airport was not as spectacular as the rest of the building. From the masses of people wandering about, you can clearly tell that NYC is a city of diversity. A Chinese guy with jeans and white shirt walked around aimlessly, as if looking for a friend. An Indie guy was poking on a machine that sold prepaid telephone cards. The Chinese spoke to the Indie: "Where you want call? Where you want call? You can borrow my cellphone. But not to India." The Indie replied: "I call to India." The Chinese guy returned with a smirk, "too far away." Indie families walked past me. They really looked like Abu's family from Simpsons: ladies wrapped up in sari and had piercings on their face; men talking with that "classic" Indie accent; old father with turban being pulled forth in a wheelchair. Asians were definitely not a minority there, as they are in Scandinavia. Students who came "fresh out of China" blended well in the crowd, just like the ABCs. Later, I saw something even less expected for a person from Sweden: jews. White men dressed up like Amish people and fashions full, untrimmed beard and a curl of hair. With this scenery in front of you eyes, anybody could tell the difference of demography between North America and Europe.

It's been 11 days since I landed. I must recount all the days that dissappeared down the memory lane, all the people I met during this period of time and all the things I experienced. I will skip lots of things here. You will hear their stories later.

Now something about the American Dream.

Some people believe American Dream is about living in prosperity, with your family, condo, cars and puppy. Others see the huge repertoire of opportunities the American society offers to individuals. On the first day we arrived at Cornell, I tasted a bitter but realistic version of American Dream.

In von Cramm Co-op where I live, I share my room with a Danish guy. Once inside the room, I found only one bed. Alex, our house president told me that I had to retrieve another bed frame from the attic, which is something of a burning furnace during daytime. I went up there and couldn't stay for more than 5 seconds. Ithaca is extremely hot and humid during summer. There were neither fans nor air conditioners in the rooms. The house was a total mess. On that very day, me and my fellow Swedes finally realized how indulged we were. Back home, we could live in our own little rooms with bathroom and we still complained.

This reminded me of a Chinese movie by Feng Xiaogang. The protagonist, a Chinese immigrant in US, tried everything to earn his living, even tourism. When confronted by discontent Chinese customers, he waved them off by telling them America is a place of hard labor rather than material luxury. And every newly arrived Chinese who strived to get an employment on the Wall Street ended up washing dishes. I concur to that.

Before going to bed, I muttered to my roommate:

"So this is what the American Dream is about: everybody starts at zero at the time they arrive, and work their way up."

Equal opportunities to everyone, it's a fair system, isn't it?

First things first

Hey, I am Leo Kinmann.

I can tell you that Leo Kinmann is my alias. Among all of you who read this blog, only a handful may have the privilege to know my real name. But it's alright, even if my identity keeps hidden from you, there are a few facts I'd like to relinquish about myself.

I live in the States.

I'm a citizen of a Scandinavian country.

My ethnicity has nothing to do with my nationality.

I am a Cornellian.

Enough said, let's go to work.